Sponsorship is a process within CoDA where a member is guided through the recovery programme by another experienced CoDA member
A recovering codependent who is willing to share their experience, strength and hope to support others.
Someone who remains objective and detached from feeling responsible for another's recovery.
Someone who role models recovery, is a source of support, and respectful of anonymity and people's individual pace of recovery.
To help you work through the 12 Step recovery process
To ask for help when confused or overwhelmed
Look for someone who:
has a sponsor themselves
is actively working the Steps, ideally having worked through all Twelve
has some years of experience (1 or more) in CoDA
ideally has sponsored people before
places recovery first
shares their own thoughts and feelings with us
respects our right to confidentiality
listens with compassion and understanding without rescuing or giving advice
helps us identify our codependent behaviour in a supportive, non-shaming manner
accepts that we might be working more than one 12 Step program
respects and accepts our pace
provides loving support for us and encourages us to reach out to others
communicates clearly and directly
asks us questions for clarity, not to control, judge, or manipulate us
uses the sponsorship relationship to grow spiritually, mentally, and emotionally
has a Higher Power in their recovery
has a recovery program that we admire
The place to begin the search for a sponsor is often in your local meetings.
Over a period of time we listen to these people when they share, perhaps spending some time with them after the meetings.
It may take time to get to know someone well enough to consider them for a sponsor.
It is important to remember that no sponsor is “perfect”, as our program teaches us that all people are “perfectly imperfect” human beings.
You can ask someone to be your Temporary Sponsor while you try out if the relationship is suitable for you.
We may find ourselves in a group in which there are no members willing or able to sponsor.
In this case we can travel to another CoDA group in the area or perhaps a regional CoDA event.
Other options are to attend a phone or online meeting and try to find someone there with whom you identify.
This guide from the international CoDA site includes helpful resources for sponsorship alternatives