Finding a sponsor
What is sponsorship?
Sponsorship is a process within CoDA where a member is guided through the recovery programme by another experienced CoDA member
Who can be a sponsor?
- A recovering codependent who is willing to share their experience, strength and hope to support others.
- Someone who remains objective and detached from feeling responsible for another's recovery.
- Someone who role models recovery, is a source of support, and respectful of anonymity and people's individual pace of recovery.
Why would I seek out the support of a sponsor?
- To help you work through the 12 Step recovery process
- To ask for help when confused or overwhelmed
What should I be looking for when seeking out a sponsor?
Look for someone who:
- has a sponsor themselves
- is actively working the Steps, ideally having worked through all Twelve
- has some years of experience (1 or more) in CoDA
- ideally has sponsored people before
- places recovery first
- shares their own thoughts and feelings with us
- respects our right to confidentiality
- listens with compassion and understanding without rescuing or giving advice
- helps us identify our codependent behaviour in a supportive, non-shaming manner
- accepts that we might be working more than one 12 Step program
- respects and accepts our pace
- provides loving support for us and encourages us to reach out to others
- communicates clearly and directly
- asks us questions for clarity, not to control, judge, or manipulate us
- uses the sponsorship relationship to grow spiritually, mentally, and emotionally
- has a Higher Power in their recovery
- has a recovery program that we admire
How do I find a sponsor?
- The place to begin the search for a sponsor is often in your local meetings.
- Over a period of time we listen to these people when they share, perhaps spending some time with them after the meetings.
- It may take time to get to know someone well enough to consider them for a sponsor.
- It is important to remember that no sponsor is “perfect”, as our program teaches us that all people are “perfectly imperfect” human beings.
- You can ask someone to be your Temporary Sponsor while you try out if the relationship is suitable for you.
What if I can’t find a sponsor in my CoDA group?
- We may find ourselves in a group in which there are no members willing or able to sponsor.
- In this case we can travel to another CoDA group in the area or perhaps a regional CoDA event.
- Other options are to attend a phone or online meeting and try to find someone there with whom you identify.